


How to Baffle Your Genin

by needdl



Category: Naruto
Genre: Fluff, Hyuuga Neji Lives, Multi, Set in Boruto-era, but i dont watch boruto, so i'm just writing whatever i want and sometimes its vaguely canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:47:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23204188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/needdl/pseuds/needdl
Summary: Neji-sensei was sort of a mysterious man. (Rating for language)
Relationships: Hyuuga Neji/Tenten, Implied Kakashi Hatake/Maito Gai, Implied Rock Lee/Gaara, Implied Uzumaki Naruto/Hyuuga Hinata - Relationship
Comments: 16
Kudos: 198





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> I first started writing this in March of 2019 for Tenten Appreciation week. Then I sat in it for a while, and then for Tenten Appreciation week 2020 i finally finished it.
> 
> please congratulate me

“Shut up, Tomoe!” Akari yelled, furiously launching herself at her teammate and pummeling her over the head with both fists. Tomoe let out a growl and raised her arms in defense, and seconds later the two were scuffling on the ground wildly.

Behind them, a nervous-looking Higuma stepped out of the way and did his best to ignore them both, squinting his eyes at the houses lining the streets and trying to determine which was the specific one they were looking for.

“I think that’s it,” he told Akari and Tomoe, pointing at a moderately-sized house with neatly kept bushes. His teammates ignored him, pulling each others’ hair and swearing loudly.

“Hey!” He kicked some dirt at them. “Knock it off! We have to meet sensei.”

Tomoe gave him a mean look and stood up menacingly, taking half a step towards him. “Do we, freak?”

“Y-yes.”

“Leave him alone, Tomoe!” Akari stood up and dusted herself off. “Let’s just get this over with so we can all _leave_. What’re we doing again?”

“Choosing weapons.” Higuma muttered. He was the only one actually excited for it.

“Stupid.” Tomoe said derisively. “I can use a jutsu to fight. People who use weapons are _weak_.”

She gave Higuma a sneer. “So I guess that makes _you_ the shittiest shinobi in Konoha.”

Higuma scowled back. “And what happens when you run out of chakra, dumbass? You get killed.”

“Ugh, both of you shut up.” Akari pushed past them and marched up the walk to the door. She rang the doorbell with decisiveness. 

They waited for a while, shifting on their feet. Tomoe shoved Akari’s shoulder, just to be annoying, and had her foot stomped on in response. 

“Should we ring the doorbell again?” Akari wondered. Higuma shrugged, and Tomoe just muttered, “Whatever,” which probably meant she thought it was a good idea. Akari rang the bell again, and this time they heard light movement in the house as someone approached the door. It opened.

“Hi sensei,” Akari and Higuma chorused, Akari very chipper and Higuma… not. Tomoe just grunted. 

Their sensei inspected them slowly, pale eyes inscrutable. After a moment, he said, “Students,” and gave them a nod of acknowledgement.

His hair was messily braided with a pink ribbon bow on the end, but he was such an intimidating presence that none of them, not even Tomoe, commented on it. 

He continued, “I realize you’re here to pick out your weapons, but I’m afraid my contact is running a little late. But she’s nearby, so we’ll be going to her.”

“Okay!” Akari said, very peppy. Higuma shrugged morosely, and Tomoe grunted again.

There was the sudden thumping of feet on  _ tatami  _ mats, and a little boy came careening around a corner to run to their sensei’s legs.

“Baba, I grabbed my kitty-cat-” He began, then suddenly noticed the three of them standing outside and instantly dove behind their sensei’s legs, peeking out at them with wide eyes.

“Good, Haruki-chan,” their sensei told him. “Is there anything else you want to bring?”

The boy ducked back behind his legs, his little hand clutching the fabric of their sensei’s tactical pants. “No,” he whispered.

“Then let’s go.” Their sensei stepped out of the house and they parted for him, swiveling back to look at the little boy. He stared at them, frozen in fear and clutching a little toy cat in his hand, then yelled, “ _ Baba!” _ and ran after their sensei. 

Their sensei, who had already mostly disappeared from sight along the corner of the house, waited a few moments for the boy to catch up, then continued on, calling behind him, “Close the door and follow.”

The three of them startled into movement- Akari and Higuma both reached to shut the door at the same time and wound up awkwardly closing it together, while Tomoe slouched her shoulders and skulked after their sensei and his kid.

They walked for a few blocks towards downtown Konoha, a few meters behind their sensei as his kid clutched his hand and gave them wide-eyed looks in between chattering to his father.

“I didn’t know sensei had a kid,” Higuma muttered.

“You don’t know it’s his,” Tomoe snarked back. “Maybe he’s watching it for someone else.”

“It called him ‘baba’, idiot.” 

“Yeah, so? That’s what I called my grandma. The kid’s stupid.”

“Some immigrants in Konoha use it to address their fathers-” Akari chimed in, her tone edging into know-it-all territory. Both Tomoe and Higuma quickly cut her off; “Okay-” “Yeah yeah yeah we get it.”

Akari sniffed. “Whatever. Point is it’s probably sensei’s kid.”

The boy stopped dead in the street, whipped around to face them and yelled, “MY NAME IS HARUKI!”

They all stopped and stared at each other for a little. The three of them were very taken aback- and slightly guilty at being so easily eavesdropped upon by a toddler. Their sensei stopped too, and waited patiently until the little boy- Haruki, apparently- had enough and ran to hide behind him again.

He picked Haruki up and tucked him against his side, calling back to the genin, “Keep up.”

He jumped up to a rooftop and started darting away, leaping from one to the next at a pace they’d be hard-pressed to keep up with. Tomoe let out a loud swear and hurried after him, which sent Akari and Higuma flurrying into movement as well.

They caught up to him while he waited for them on a rooftop a few blocks down, talking to another shinobi.

“Holy fuck, who’s that?” Tomoe said incredulously. She was right to be shocked- the other shinobi was possibly the largest man any of them had ever seen, towering over their sensei and completely dwarfing the child in their sensei’s arms to the point of comedic proportions. 

Oddly enough, the kid seemed all right with the man, talking cheerfully to him and showing him the toy he had while the man smiled pleasantly down at him. In fact, for all his fierce size, the man exuded friendliness.

The three of them approached cautiously, trying not to stare up at the man. He gave them another pleasant smile. “Hello! You must be Neji’s genin team!”

They nodded dumbly. 

“Students,” Their sensei intoned, “This is Akimichi Choji, the leader of the Akimichi clan.”

They let out awkward hellos- or at least Akari and Higuma did, Tomoe just nodded- equally as awkward as her teammates, at least.

“See you next week, then,” Akimichi-sama told their sensei. “Bye-bye, Haruki!”

“Bye!” The kid yelled after him, as the man leapt- completely silently and with all the skill of a highly trained shinobi- from roof to roof until he faded from sight, which took a much longer amount of time than if the man had been of average size.

Their sensei strode to the edge of the roof and said, “Come,” before dropping out of sight. Akari let out a startled noise and raced over to the edge to look down, and surprisingly enough Tomoe was only a step behind her. They both peered over the edge, and Tomoe muttered, “Fuckin’ showboat.”

Higuma, perplexed, joined them, and gaped with Akari over the scene below. Their sensei was coaching his  _ fucking toddler _ through chakra walking, holding both the kid’s hands in his own and walking backwards down the wall in front of him. The kid was wobbly but had clearly practiced it before, and could get in about three steps on his own before his control wavered and he fell forward against their sensei’s legs with much exaggerated  _ oof _ -ing.

Their sensei wasn’t looking at them at all, his attention completely focused on the kid, but he was wearing the softest expression they’d ever seen on his face.

Suddenly he looked up at them staring, and they all jerked a little. Even after all this time, his gaze was… unsettling.

“I presume you are all standing there because you need me to walk you down as well, or else you would have done it on your own.” His dry tone was all the rebuke they needed, and they scrambled over the edge.

They made it to the bottom at about the same time the kid did, which was… somewhat embarrassing, but he’d had a head start.

The kid didn’t even say anything, just ran into the door of the storefront they had just walked down. The three of them watched him go in slight alarm, but their sensei seemed unbothered.

“Before we go in, have you given any thought to what type of weapon will be most useful to you?”

“Kusarigama,” said Akari immediately. Their sensei gave her a searching look, then turned to the others. “And you two?”

“I don’t know yet.” Higuma shifted awkwardly on his feet. “Maybe like a- a katana, or something.”

“I see. Tomoe?”

She scowled- not at their sensei, she was actually somewhat respectful to him- and muttered, “I don’t  _ need _ a weapon.”

“Perhaps not,” their sensei acknowledged. They all stared at him, surprised to hear him admit such a thing. “But being proficient in some weaponry is a useful skill to have.”

He looked them all over again, and they unconsciously straightened up under his gaze. 

“You should know that my contact won’t care about what weapons  _ you  _ think you should have, and will in all likelihood give you an entirely different one. She will hear your fighting techniques and match you to what will be best, and there is no use arguing with her about it. She is blunt and does not care what you think of her. Remember this before you cross her.”

Ominous, cryptic warning given, he turned and walked into the shop.

Even Tomoe hesitated a little before following.

* * *

The store was a weapons store, unsurprisingly, and the walls were lined with huge, antique weaponry with signs that read, ‘DISPLAY ONLY. NOT FOR SALE. DO NOT TOUCH. ALL WALL DISPLAYS ARE RIGGED. WE ARE NOT LIABLE FOR ANY INJURIES THAT OCCUR IF PIECES ARE TOUCHED, BECAUSE WE PUT UP THIS WARNING AND YOU TOUCHED IT ANYWAY, IDIOT.’

The more standard shinobi weapons were on racks and in display cases throughout the store. Higuma covertly looked at the blacksmith’s insignia on the kunai and found it matched the ones they were given at graduation- the store must have been the main supplier.

Most startling, there was a girl sitting behind the main counter, a stack of shuriken in front of her that she was sharpening and polishing with alarming expertise.

(Sure, she could be an Academy student- but they didn’t start any  _ real _ weapons training until they were about eight, and  _ nobody _ mastered it as well as this girl apparently had until they were genin at least.)

The girl spoke without looking up from her task, “Hello, welcome to-” She glanced up. “Oh, hi baba!”

“Hello, little bird. Is your mom around?”

“She’s in back taking inventory. But Haruki went to see her, so she probably got distracted.”

“Probably.” He turned back to the three of them, who were reeling at the revelation that their sensei apparently had not one, but  _ two _ kids. “Go ahead and take a look around, but heed all the warning signs.”

The three of them slowly dispersed, and poked around as their sensei turned back to his daughter. “Your hair looks good, baba.”

“Thank you. I had an expert stylist.”

The girl giggled. Akari leaned over to Tomoe and whispered, “Was that a joke? Can sensei even make jokes?”

Tomoe poked at some senbon and shrugged. 

Footsteps sounded from behind a doorway with a sign that said, ‘EMPLOYEES ONLY’, and a few seconds later a woman pushed through the doorway carrying a crate of something metallic and clanky, judging by the noises. The kid from before followed close behind her, meowing and making his cat toy jump up and down her leg as she walked- which seemed like a safety hazard of some sort.

The woman was dressed in a manner somewhat foreign-looking, with a  _ qipao _ of red and pale pink that had frog ties across the collar and her hair in two elaborately braided buns. Her eyes, when she looked at the three shifty-looking genin skulking around her store, were bright and warm, but also keenly calculating.

After a moment, she turned to look at their sensei. “Hi, honey!” She set the box down on the counter he was leaning on, then leaned up and kissed him.

The genins’ jaws hit the ground at the exact same time, the most synchronized they’d ever been. It was almost a shame that their sensei missed it- but he seemed rather busy kissing random women in weapon stores, surrounded by his secret children.

The woman pulled back and said, “Love the hair.”

“Thank you. Hui Na helped me with it this morning.” The girl at the counter giggled.

The woman turned to the genin again, and Higuma chewed his bottom lip nervously as she approached. 

“So,” she said, “You three are Akari, Tomoe, and Higuma, respectively.” Her friendly smile broadened until it was too wide and they could see the feral bite to her words. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

She stared at them for some  _ very  _ long seconds, her mouth still stretched in that too-wide smile and her eyes terrifyingly blank. 

Higuma had a sinking feeling in his stomach. If she was as close to their sensei as all the-  _ kissing _ indicated, then he had probably told her all the horrible details of their team practices, and how they couldn’t stop fighting long enough to do anything their sensei directed them to do.

“Well!” The woman chirped brightly, stepping away from them and clapping her hands together. It was as though a cool breeze had gone through the room, and suddenly the three genin felt like they could breathe again. “Let’s find you some weapons!”

Tomoe made a very quiet, derisive noise. The woman smiled at her, all warm brown eyes and bright sunshine. “Hm?”

“We don’t even know who you are,” Tomoe pointed out. Akari and Higuma exchanged a look, silently agreeing. 

“You don’t- Neji, did you tell them  _ anything _ ?”

Their sensei looked up from where he was playing dolls with his toddler, using a shuriken as a stand in for another cat toy. “I told them we’d be picking weapons.”

She  _ tch _ -ed. “You’re hopeless.” She turned back to the students, tassel earrings swinging against her neck. “I’m Tenten, the Weapons Mistress of Konoha. How nice to meet you. Now do everything I say.”

* * *

Akari went first. “I want a kusarigama!” 

“Hmm…” The Weapons Mistress cocked her hip out and stroked her chin in thought. “What’s your main attack?”

“Gōkakyū no Jutsu!”

“And how’s your taijutsu?”

“It’s… well, it’s fine for my level.”

“Mhm.” The Weapons Mistress thought on it for a moment, then declared, “No kusarigama. I’m giving you tessen.”

“ _ What? _ ”

“The last thing you need is a long-distance weapon if your main skill is Gōkakyū no Jutsu. Tessen will make you balance out your skills more in taijutsu and give you something to fall back on if you ever run out of chakra.”

“But… a kusarigama.”

“A flashy weapon that is far beyond your skill level.”

Akari pulled a face. “That’s the point of training!”

“You don’t have the base skills yet,” The Weapons Mistress told her frankly. “Once you’ve mastered tessen, then maybe you can persuade me to let you try out a kusarigama.”

“...Don’t think I won’t.”

The Weapons Mistress grinned. “I hope you do. Here-” She crossed to a corner of the store and pulled twin tessen off the wall and weighed them in her hands for a few moments, then handed them to Akari. “Try those. Start with them closed, using them with the same movements as defensive kunai while you adjust to the weight. Do that for a month-”

“A  _ month? _ ”

“Yes. Do that for a month and then come back to me so I can teach you more.”

“A… month…” Akari thoughtfully hefted the tessen in her hands for a few moments, then shifted her grip so she was holding them towards the ends. “Is this how I hold them?”

“Yes. Good instinct.”

Akari looked pleased at the praise. “Fine, I’ll use them.”

“How nice.” The Weapons Mistress smirked at her for a moment, seemingly amused. “There’s a training yard out back if you’d like to go give it a shot now, or you can wait-”

Akari was already walking out the door. “Good luck guys see you later-” The bell tingled as the door opened, then again as it slammed shut. 

In the silence that followed, the two remaining genin stared blankly after their teammate. The little boy, still sitting on the counter and playing cat-and-shuriken with their sensei, said, “Hey mama?”

The Weapon Mistress turned to look at him, her eyes softening. “Mmhm?”

He held up his toy. “Did you see my kitty-cat?”

“I did.”

“Oh.” He turned back to their sensei and said “Baba?”

“Yes?” 

“Did  _ you  _ see my kitty-cat?”

Their sensei just stared at the kid for a few seconds, and the toddler started to giggle. Finally, he said, “No, Haruki-chan. I did not see your cat.”

The kid let out a sharp burst of laughter. “Yes you did!”

“Are you calling me a liar?” Their sensei leaned forward and folded his arms on the countertop, pressing his forehead against the kid’s and smiling down at him. 

“Yeah!”

“How rude.” 

Over the sound of the wildly giggling kid asking the girl if  _ she _ had seen the kitty-cat, the Weapons Mistress turned to the genin again, who were  _ now _ reeling over the fact that their sensei apparently had at least one kid with the Weapons Mistress of Konoha.

(It seemed like the girl was probably hers too, but no confirmation yet.)

The woman’s gaze settled on Higuma. “And you? What kind of weapon did you have in mind?”

“It- uh, uh, uh-” Higuma rapidly spiralled into panic. He was fine when she was addressing them as a group, but the second she actually fixed her attention on him he felt like he was going to barf. Finally he squeaked out, “Sword?”

She tilted her head. “What kind of sword?”

“... a… pointy… one?”

Her brow pinched. “Uh-huh.”

They stood in silence for a moment. Higuma was almost positive the girl at the counter was laughing at him.

“What’s your main ninjutsu?” The Weapons Mistress finally asked.

“Erm, I use genjutsu, mostly. I’m not great at ninjutsu. Or- or taijutsu. Or genjutsu, really, but I’m better at that than the other ones.”

“What do you think your problem is with ninjutsu?”

Higuma inwardly balked. He hadn’t expected the conversation to take this sort of turn. 

“It’s, well-” He struggled to find the words, looking anywhere but at her. His gaze landed on his sensei, watching him calmly as his kid(s?) played together. 

His sensei, after a moment of looking steadily into his eyes, inclined his head slightly, a ‘go on’ sort of gesture.

Feeling desperate, he blurted, “Hasn’t sensei told you anything?”

“Doesn’t matter. I want to hear what  _ you _ have to say about it.”

“Great,” he muttered under his breath. He shifted on his feet, feeling sweaty and upset as the silence grew larger and heavier.

The Weapons Mistress cleared her throat, just a hint of impatience bleeding into her expression.

“I overthink it. I start to worry about amounts of chakra and how to control it and how to make the jutsu do what I want and then I panic and it all goes wrong.” He blurted, then gasped for air.

She considered it for a moment. “How’s your chakra control?”

“Fine, except when I have to do any real jutsu and then I panic.”

“I see. It seems to me that you might benefit from something that forces you to use chakra more.”

That was the  _ opposite  _ of what he wanted. “Okay.”

“I can tell you’re not happy with it, but you’re choking those feelings down like a champ. Here-” she grabbed a short sword-thing off of a display. “Standard chakra blade. Start by using it as a stand-alone blade, and work separately at channeling chakra through it. You’ll be able to tell when you’re getting better at it based on how it feels.”

“Uh… okay.”

“Good. Go practice.”

Obediently, Higuma took the blade and headed to the practice yard. Akari was doing katas with her new tessen, wielding one with a great more ease than the other- she never did like using her non-dominant hand with weapons. 

She spun to face him and held up a closed tessen to his throat. He blinked, alarmed. 

“What’dya get?” she chirped.

He held up his weapon. “Chakra blade.”

“You suck at using chakra.”

“I know. She said it’d help me balance it out more.”

“Huh. Well, she’d probably know.”

“Yeah. Hey, guess what?”

“No. Just tell me.”

He sighed. “That ruins the whole premise, Akari.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re really going to argue with me about this? You’re the one who has something to tell me.”

“It’s some pretty mind-blowing information, so it’s really your loss.”

“That’s fine.” She swivelled away again, doing some more katas and looking completely unbothered. After a few seconds she yelled, “OH!” and spun back, jabbing the tessen excitedly in his face. “Let’s spar! Me and my tessen versus your chakra blade.”

He absolutely did not want to do that, but the only way he could think to get out of it was to blurt, “Those kids in there are sensei’s and the Weapons Mistress’s.”

“ _ What? _ ” Akari’s tessen fell from her hand and hit the ground with a dull  _ clang _ , but she didn’t even seem to register it. “Sensei and the  _ Weapons Mistress? _ ”

“Yeah. I mean she did kiss him when she came in, remember? But I guess I didn’t make the connection until the little kid called her ‘mama.’”

“Holy  _ fuck _ .” Akari blinked at him for a few moments, before her face turned thoughtful. “Well, I can see it now that I look back on it. The girl sharpening the shuriken  _ did _ look a lot like the woman, but she had eyes like sensei’s, did you notice?” He hadn’t. “Plus it explains why the kid was so excited to see her, and so comfortable with her.

“I mean, I knew sensei is married, but-”

That was news to him. “Wait, really? They’re  _ married _ ? No, not even that,  _ sensei _ is  _ married _ ?”

“YES!” Akari scooped up her dropped tessen and gestured with it wildly in irritation. “I keep telling you both that he’s actually a super well-known, super powerful shinobi in Konoha and it’s really easy to find information about him, but you guys never listen to me! I’m not even from a shinobi family like you two are, how come you don’t know this?!”

Higuma was still digesting the information that his sensei had a  _ wife _ . “He’s… married… weird...”

“Okay,  _ whatever _ . Let’s spar.”

“No, wait, I don’t want-”

“ _ ThreetwooneGO _ !” She leapt at him, tessens flashing, and he hastily yanked his new chakra blade up in front of him to parry her attack.

She continued striking at him, with much twirling and theatrics, and he stayed on the defensive, trying to use the blade the way that he’d been advised. His hand wasn’t used to the weight, and it wasn’t long before his grip began to tire.

Akari knocked the blade out of his hand with a loud “HA!” and a flourish of her tessen, snapping the other one open and fanning herself with it dramatically as she smirked at him. 

It occurred to him then that the Weapons Mistress really had known what she was doing, because Akari had a flair for the dramatic and the tessen were just flashy enough to keep her interested.

“Yield,” he sighed to his teammate, and she grinned, smug.

There was a clattering from the alleyway leading into the sparring yard, and suddenly Tomoe came storming in, looking stone-cold furious. Behind her was the Weapons Mistress, juggling a few kunai in her hand and looking bleakly cheerful.

Their sensei was a few steps behind, and his approach was best described as… cautious. A chill went down Higuma’s spine.

Tomoe spun around to face the Weapons Mistress. “It’s all bullshit.  _ I don’t need a weapon _ .”

“Then prove it,” she fired back. Her grin was maniacal. “If you don’t need a weapon, that must mean you think that if you run out of chakra, you’ll be able to fend for yourself with taijutsu, right?” 

Tomoe snarled wordlessly. 

“You attack me as much as you want. I’ll defeat you with this senbon and nothing else.” She held up the senbon between two fingers, and it glinted in the low lighting. 

“Tenten,” their sensei called abruptly. “Disarm yourself completely.”

The woman huffed, but started to comply, tucking the senbon into her hair and removing the bracelets around her wrists that the genin were suddenly realizing were actually summoning scrolls, then taking off the kunai holster from around her fishnet-clad thigh in such a sinuous and purposeful manner that it had both Akari and Higuma flushing a little.

But if they thought  _ that _ was bad, then what she did next was even worse, which was to snap open the ties of her dress and pull out two  _ sai _ and a handful of shuriken from her… ahem.

She flicked them over her shoulder and they embedded themselves in the tree their sensei was sitting against, coming very close to slicing his skin. He said nothing, but the look he gave the Weapons Mistress was  _ scorching _ , although the exact nature of it- whether it was in anger or in some other, more  _ debaucherous _ emotion- wasn’t clear.

“There,” she said at last, uncoiling an honest-to-god chain from around her waist, which had been concealed under her belt (that apparently acted as another scroll container when needed) and setting it on the ground. “Senbon only.”

“Your boots,” their sensei called.

She cursed under her breath and pulled three slender knives from the sole of each boot, then a small  _ jian _ from each calf. “Is that good enough for you?”

“What about the karambit in your hair?”

“What about  _ your _ hair, Neji?” She fired back, reaching her hands up and tugging at the strands to her buns.

“What’s to discuss? It looks very fashionable.”

“Yeah, to a nine-year-old.” The woman pulled a curved blade from her hair and flicked it over to rest at their sensei’s feet.

“If you are insinuating that Hui Na did this to be fashionable, you are sorely mistaken. She was trying to embarrass me.”

“Well you’re really rolling with it, so the joke's on her, I guess.” The woman grinned.

“Precisely.”   
  


Tomoe had been standing with her fists curled tightly, her aura darkening as the woman seemed to take her so glibly.  _ “Are we fighting or not?” _

“Oh, of course,” the Weapons Mistress pivoted smoothly to face her, senbon glinting obviously in hand. “Ready when you are.”

Tomoe charged her, one hand ready with her Crystal Release. The woman’s hand flicked out in an idle motion, and seconds later an entire branch from a tree fell down, almost on top of Tomoe. She barely managed to dodge out of the way.

The genin all gaped. The Weapons Mistress twitched her finger, and Tomoe threw herself to the ground as a sharp whistling noise filled the air and a streak of silver, almost indistinguishable from the surrounding air, whistled past the spot her head had been.

The Weapons Mistress raised a casual hand and snatched the senbon from the air. 

Tomoe mustered herself again and spread her legs apart, ready to charge at a moment’s notice. Her hands flickered through their positions, and she braced herself and yelled, “Crystal-”

Another twitch of the finger, and the blur of silver was darting away again, this time to slice against the dip between Tomoe’s index and middle fingers.

It was a painful, distracting wound, and Higuma winced in sympathy as Tomoe jerked her hand into a fist with a curse, blood welling up and running over the back of her hand. She didn’t let it deter her for long, however, gritting her teeth and beginning the motions of her hand seal again. 

She was stopped once more as the senbon went darting away again, headed for Tomoe’s arms. It stuck deep into her bicep and stayed there.

Tomoe let out a grunt of pain, trying futilely to yank the senbon out as blood darkened her sleeve and slicked up her fingers.

Higuma tore his eyes away from the mildly disturbing sight of his teammate’s struggles to look at the Weapons Mistress. She was standing silhouetted by the setting sun, resting her weight on her heels with her arms folded across her chest, back ramrod straight. For the first time, she was standing completely upright, not cocking her hips out to the side, not tilting her head, not leaning over to rifle through bins and shelves of weapons.

She was taller than Higuma had realized.

Finally seeming to decide the senbon wasn’t worth it, Tomoe stopped pulling at it and charged straight for the Weapons Mistress, hands flicking in her seal and finally yelling, “Growing Crystal Thorns!” 

One of her mysterious crystal structures began to form and leapt towards the Weapons Mistress- but stopped abruptly as Tomoe staggered to a kneeling position, gasping for breath.

Higuma and Akari both took a lurching half-step towards their teammate before remembering she was in the middle of a spar and stepping back. Akari chewed her thumbnail nervously. 

Tomoe stared up at the Weapons Mistress, her eyes glazed, then shoved herself back to her feet and stumbled towards her again. She got three more steps in before sinking down again, chest heaving as she crumpled onto the ground.

The Weapons Mistress walked over to her small form and pulled the senbon out of Tomoe’s bicep, wiping it on a small cloth before tucking it out of sight within her hair. She glanced over at their sensei. 

“Pass me my right wrist scroll?” She caught the scroll as their sensei tossed it to her and unsealed a small vial from it, then injected some of the contents into Tomoe’s other arm. Then she hoisted the genin over one shoulder and stood, fixed her eyes on Higuma, and said, “Run down to the Yamanaka flower shop and get the blonde woman working there- Ino. Tell her that Tenten wants her to swing by the shop to monitor the effects of her Beta strain.”

Higuma blinked, stuttered, “Yamanaka flowers, Ino, Tenten weapons shop, Beta strain.”

“Correct. Come on back once you’ve delivered the message.”

Higuma nodded, and dashed away.

* * *

Akari watched with wide eyes as the Weapons Mistress (Neji-sensei’s wife, _probably_ ) carried an unconscious Tomoe back into the shop through the back door, laying her down on a small table before moving out of sight in the doorway.

Neji-sensei, meanwhile, had picked up the various weapons the woman had removed and was starting towards the shop himself. “You can come in too if you wish, Akari.”

She followed him in, clutching her tessen- which she already  _ loved _ , even if they weren’t what she was expecting to get- and peering around nosily at the back of the store. It was slightly smaller than the front part, with crates on shelves containing common shinobi weapons, and another section leading further down to the left with a sign saying “SPECIALIZED.” There was a door directly to the right that read “SMITHY”, and another door at the edge of the room that was unlabeled, but presumably led to the front of the shop.   
  


Tomoe, on the table- which was greasy with oil and who-knows-what from all the weapon-ing that occurred in the shop- twitched slightly, her eyes fluttering. As far as Akari could tell, she’d been knocked out with some sedative, and probably an unusual one because Tomoe was weirdly immune to the common ones they’d learned about in the academy.

(To be fair, a lot of senior chunin and most jonin were immune to the common tranquilizers, but that was a combination of specific training against them and the build up of the body’s natural defense after being poisoned with them enough times. But Tomoe was a _genin_ and barely batted an eye the day they’d all been tripped with the slightest amounts to make them understand and identify the effects.)

Tomoe opened her eyes fully and glared at Akari. “Son of a bitch,” she muttered, then passed out again. 

Presumably, she wasn’t referring to Akari as the son  _ or  _ the bitch in that phrase, but Akari sniffed and put on an offended face anyway. After a moment, she glanced over at the Weapons Mistress and Neji-sensei, who had given the woman back her weapons and was now standing close to her, tilting his head down to look at her as they spoke quietly. Feeling a little awkward, Akari looked at Tomoe again. She had drool running down the side of her mouth.

After their conversation, the woman turned and walked briskly out the door to the main part of the shop. Neji-sensei turned to Akari.

“Tomoe will be fine after a few minutes, and we’re having a poison and antidote specialist come along to monitor her progress just in case. Would you like anything to eat?”

“Uh, um, no thank you.”

“Very well. Stay here with her for a moment, please.” He followed after the Weapons Mistress.

Akari lingered awkwardly by Tomoe’s side for a few moments before reaching out to poke her. She didn’t respond. 

Instantly bored, Akari started looking around the room in earnest, now that she was unsupervised. There was a large whiteboard on one wall that had order forms pinned to it, organized into sections presumably based on their status of completion. There was a calendar just next to it with bright red notes scrawled on certain dates- some of them were the dates for order pick-ups, but there was one written in bold handwriting that said “ **HUI NA’S BIRTHDAY ♥️♥️♥️** ”- whoever that was.

Akari’s wandering attention led her to the specialized weaponry section, and she peered nosily up at a few of the more intricate pieces- they were very interesting and shiny.

Footsteps sounded down the hallway, and Akari thought wildly for a moment about rushing over to her teammate’s side to pretend she wasn’t snooping- but then she decided she didn’t care, and just turned to look at who came through the door.

It was the girl from earlier, struggling a little with the weapons from earlier all loaded into one crate. She met Akari’s gaze with a polite smile and said, “Do you mind helping me put these away?”

“Sure.” Akari crossed to the door and grabbed the other side of the crate, then they hefted it over to the common weapons shelf and started filing them into place.

“I’m Akari, by the way.” She told the girl cheerfully, running her thumb over the edge of a kunai that had a chip out of it.

“Oh, I-! I, um, already know. Hui Na,” the girl introduced herself. She smiled a little shyly up at her, and Akari felt her own smile widen- she was cute. 

“Are you in the Academy, Hui Na-chan?” The girl immediately flushed at being addressed in such a way, but her smile remained genuine.

“Yes. I’ll graduate in three years.”

“Cool! What kind of jutsu do you like to do?” She didn’t ask wha jutsu Hui Na was good at- experience had led her to ask about people’s interests, rather than their skills, because usually it made them like her more. If people wanted to brag, they would. And if they were like Higuma, they’d talk about how cool Nara-senpai was instead of talking about themselves at all.

(Which was so  _ stupid _ \- Higuma wasn’t  _ cool _ , obviously, but he was smart and funny in a sarcastic and somewhat macarbe way. He needed to be more confident in what he did.)

“I’m pretty good at the Hyuga Clan jutsu- at least the ones I’ve been allowed to learn- and I really like using nunchucks, like Lee-ojisan.”

“Wow, I bet you’re really good with them if your mom’s the Weapons Mistress!” It was a bit of a gamble, to assume that she  _ was _ , in fact, Neji-sensei’s and the Weapons Mistress’ daughter, but it paid off when the younger girl smiled in delight, her serious expression changing completely.

“Well,” she giggled a little, “Really, mom gets a little bored with nunchucks, since she mastered them ages ago- she likes swords a lot, though, and she’s been trying to collect all the legendary swords of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist for years now.”

“Huh! Any luck?” 

“Of course not- most of them are in Kirigakure, and it’s not like they’re going to give them up. But mom’s really stubborn and everytime Baba tries to point out that she won’t get them, she gets all pouty.”

Akari snorted at the image of Neji-sensei trying to placate his wife. Seems like he had a little practice before he had to deal with two sulky genin- not her, of course, she was a star pupil.

Thinking about her teammates made her remember Tomoe, still lying prone on the table, and she turned to look. Yep, unconscious.

“So what’d she stick Tomoe with, then? She’s immune to a lot of stuff, so it’s pretty impressive that it worked so fast and so well.”

“I’m not sure. She and my auntie Ino develop and test new poisons together, so it could be a lot of things. But mom wouldn’t have used anything that would hurt her.”

Hui Na put the last kunai into place with a little  _ clink _ , then stood back up. Akari grinned at the still-shy look she gave her from behind her hair.

_ Aw, sensei’s daughter is so CUTE! _

There were voices sounding down the hall- two women, from the sounds of it. The Weapons Mistress came in first, looking moody, and a few paces behind her was the head of T&I, poison expert, special jounin,  _ goddamn  _ leader of the Yamanaka Clan, Ino Yamanaka.

Wait- Hui Na had called her  _ auntie Ino _ \- was she that close to her?

Akari’s head was spinning with new information- sensei was married to and had kids with the Weapons Mistress of Konoha, was friends with the leader of the Akimichi clan, and his kids considered the head of freaking  _ Torture and Interrogation _ as an aunt.

Yamanaka-sama gave Akari an appraising look with a friendly smile, which broadened into a beam when she looked at Hui Na. “Hey sweetie!”

“Hi, auntie.” Hui Na’s tone remained as steady and calm as ever, but she bounced up and down on her feet a few times in excitement.

Yamanaka smiled at her a few seconds longer before turning to Tomoe. “Seriously, Tenten, you just left her back here…?”

The Weapons Mistress muttered churlishly in reply, too soft to be heard, and the two women descended into quiet conversation. After a moment, the Weapons Mistress turned to Akari and Hui Na, watching mutely, and said, “Why don’t the two of you head up front? Higuma is there, probably dying of awkwardness as your dad tries to prove how wise a sensei he is.”

Hui Na laughed- and Akari couldn’t get  _ over _ how much her expression changed, from quiet seriousness to pure joy- and told her mother, “All right. Good luck, auntie!”

“Thanks, baby. I’ll see you for your lessons tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay!” Hui Na bobbed up and down one more time, then turned and obediently trotted out the door. Akari gave a little wave to the women and followed her.

The hallway was quite short, leading past one other tiny room filled with weaponry before reaching the storefront. Just as the Weapons Mistress had predicted, Neji-sensei was looking as serious as ever as he spoke quietly and intensely to Higuma, who fiddled listlessly with his new chakra knife while looking generally miserable. 

Haruki-chan was sitting on the floor with his little feet turned out, playing with his cat figurine. When the two girls came in, he gave Hui Na a delighted grin but kept playing.

Neji-sensei paused in his conversation with Higuma. “How’s Tomoe?”

“Auntie Ino didn’t say,” Hui Na said, crossing to where he stood at the counter and plopping down in the seat. She tucked herself against his side, and he reached up and ran his hand over her head.

Akari turned away, feeling slightly uncomfortable to be privy to the private moment, and her gaze met that of Higuma. “Hi, Higuma.”

“Hi,” he said glumly. She scowled at him.

“What’s wrong with you?”   
  


“If I knew that, then-”

“Ugh. Shut up, Higuma. You’re a perfectly decent shinobi but your attitude makes me tired.”

He sputtered, finally looking a little more fiery, and she nodded once in satisfaction. She 

swiveled to her sensei and chirped, “Anything else for us to do, Neji-sensei?”

He tilted his head thoughtfully, and she realized too late that they were doomed.

* * *

Tomoe woke up and immediately shot a fist up in the air to punch the face staring down at her.

The face cursed, startled, but swatted her hand away with ease. Then it said, “Tomoe-san. So glad you’re up.”

Tomoe rocked up to a sitting position, glaring at the face- which turned out to be Hyuga-sensei’s wife. The psychopath.

It was all the worse that the woman had defeated her so thoroughly, in such a fuckin’ awesome way. Now her rage was mixed with deep respect, which was way too confusing. 

She fixed her glare to the other woman in the room, who was blindingly blonde and statuesque. She gave Tomoe a smile that was nothing short of dazzling and said, “Oh, goodie! The strain lasted just as long as it was supposed to for your body weight. I think we’re ready for the next phase of testing.” All of which was said like Tomoe was supposed to understand it.

Instead, she just scowled and took a look at her surroundings- the back of the store, it looked like, with shelves of weapons all the way up to the ceiling. It smelled like fireworks- and when she saw the sign that read “SMITHY”, it made sense.

She turned to Tenten. “Do you make all the weapons yourself?”

“Not always. I import stuff like kunai and senbon, then just refine them and add my insignia. The special orders I usually forge myself.”

Tomoe watched her for a moment more, then grunted and looked away again. She  _ refused  _ to like the woman, even if she seemed smart and interesting.

“Where’s Hyuga-sensei and the genin?”

There was a pause, and the Tenten said, in a carefully controlled voice, “You know you’re a genin too.” Tomoe looked over at her, brow pursed at her tone of voice, and scowled when she saw the woman fighting back laughter.

“I’m above their level. Where are they?”

“Out front in the shop,” the blonde woman said. She reached out, and before Tomoe could snap at her, injected her with something. Tomoe snarled, hackles raising, and the blonde told her “That’ll help fight any residual nausea and dizziness. You’ll be back to normal within an hour.”

Tomoe glowered. “I’m leaving.” She swung her legs over the bench and trudged to the door that must’ve led to the shop front, pointedly not looking back at either woman. 

The door didn’t even slam behind her. Damn it all.

She opened the door to the storefront with a loud  _ bang _ that made her feel a little better, then stopped short at the sight of Higuma, Akari, and Hyuga-sensei’s daughter busily polishing all the weapons on the shelves. For his part, Hyuga-sensei was reading quietly while his son fell asleep in the crook of his arm.

Everyone (except the sleeping toddler) turned to look at her when she came in. Embarrassed, she snapped, “ _ What? _ ” 

Akari rolled her eyes and turned away, Higuma made a face like she was being unreasonable, and Hyuga-sensei’s kid twitched her shoulders and pinched up her entire face before jerking around to face her work again.

When Tomoe turned to look at her sensei, he was watching his daughter with a blank expression on his face that didn’t change one bit when his gaze met Tomoe’s, but still somehow became terrifyingly oppressive.

She actually sighed in relief when he looked away again. He stood, hoisting the kid in his arms, and said, “Hui Na, come here for a moment.”

The girl put aside her rag and followed him into the back hallway. Akari and Higuma  _ instantly  _ whipped around to face her, both pale, and Akari hissed, “ _ What-did-you-do- _ ”

“ _ Nothing! _ ” She scream-whispered back. 

“ _ Clearly you did something, I’ve NEVER seen sensei like that- _ ”

“ _ BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP LET’S JUST FINISH CLEANING ALL THE WEAPONS OFF FOR HIS WIFE AND THEN MAYBE WE CAN LEAVE WITHOUT HIM KILLING US.” _ Higuma, somehow, came through as the voice of reason, and after scowling at each other for a few seconds more Tomoe and Akari began working again.

They worked in silence for ten minutes before Hyuga-sensei came back into the room. He gave them all a slight smile and said, “That should be sufficient, thank you. Shall we go to lunch? I will pay for it-”

Akari didn’t even let him finish his offer before she threw her arms up in the air with a gleeful “YES!” Her polishing rag smacked into the ceiling, clung for a bit, then came back down. She snatched it out of the air with a sheepish look.

They all ignored her, quite used to the theatrics, and Higuma nodded to Hyuga-sensei’s offer. 

“Tennie, we’re going to lunch,” Hyuga-sensei called back to his wife.

“Don’t call me that!” She hollered back. She sounded a little flustered, and they all gaped, incredulous, as Hyuga-sensei grinned to himself- outright  _ grinned _ . 

Fucking Akari let out a little  _ sigh _ , like she was  _ swooning _ , and that snapped Tomoe out of it pretty quick. She didn’t need to hear the dumbass mooning over Hyuga-sensei’s good looks again- because  _ she didn’t fucking care about his dimple and never fucking WOULD, Akari. _

Their sensei looked back at the door. “Ino, would you like to walk with us?”

“Sure!” She yelled back. “Just a minute!”

They waited in silence for a bit, then suddenly the door rocketed open and Hyuga-sensei’s son bawled out, “BABA, I WANT TO COME TOOOOOOO!”

He looked like he was on the verge of tears, and all the genin immediately took a step back from him. 

Hyuga-sensei’s expression went all soft again, and he said gently, “That’s fine, Haruki-chan, but weren’t you going to help your mama in the store?”

The kid thought hard for a second, then said, “I want to go too more than I want to stay here today.”

Tomoe squinted her eyes at him, trying to decipher his complicated toddler nonsense-speak. Hyuga-sensei just smiled and held out his hand.

The kid booked it over, seizing his father’s hand and chattering happily.“Tell mama,” Hyuga-sensei told him softly. 

“MAMA!”

“WHAT?”

“I’M GOIN’ WITH BABA TO EAAAAAAAT!”

“OKAY! HAVE FUN LOVE BUG!”

“OKAY!”

Silence for a few blessed moments, then another voice. “Waaaait, Baba!”

“Yes?” Thank fuck, Hyuga-sensei and his other kid seemed to be less of the hollering type, and more of the ‘speak at the exact volume needed to be heard’ type.

“Can I come too?”

“Of course, little bird.”

"WAIIIT, THEN WHO WILL SPEND TIME WITH ME IN THE STOOOOORE?" The Weapons Mistress again.

“MEEEEE!”

“PISS OFF, INO!”

There was some raucous cackling, then the blonde woman came through the door, still laughing. The kid followed a few steps behind, smiling down at the ground.

“BYE, TENNIE!” Blondie bellowed.

“SHUT UP!”

“Bye, Tennie,” their sensei echoed.

“I- don’t call me that!” Her tone had gone from annoyed to flustered again, and Tomoe rolled her eyes. What, like her husband was all that? Seriously.

“Y’all cute,” Blondie told Hyuga-sensei. 

“Thank you.”

The door opened-  _ again _ , fucking hell- and Tenten came in, looking sulky. “If no one is staying, then I’m going to lunch too.”

“Yay!” The toddler shrieked.

This was the worst day of Tomoe’s life. 

Wordlessly she pushed out the door and started walking towards Ichiraku’s, not even really caring if they followed her or not. She had money.

To her (expertly hidden) surprise, Higuma caught up to her a few seconds later, walking in silence at her side as the flock of people behind them loudly and chaotically got themselves sorted out. He looked glum, but she couldn’t be fucked about it.

“What’s wrong with you?”

He eyed her nervously. “What?”

“What’s wrong with you, dipshit?”

“Nothin’.”

“Fine.” She rolled her eyes and ignored him again.

Behind them, Tenten had put her hysterically laughing toddler on her shoulders and was playfully biting at his legs. What the fuck.

The girl was listening intently to Akari as she talked her head off- seriously, she didn’t know how the kid did it, because Akari was the most annoying person in the world and she was staring up at her like she was made of gold.

Hyuga-sensei and Blondie were walking side by side at the back of the herd, talking. The woman was  _ ridiculously  _ tall, with a good couple centimeters on their sensei- who was by no means a short man. This was a weird day.

She got to Ichiraku’s and settled into a chair. Higuma sat next to her, which was irritating, and Akari sat on his other side. Hyuga-sensei sat next to Tomoe, and his wife ushered the two kids into the seats on his other side, with her on the end.

Blondie just yelled goodbye as she kept walking, then said something that stopped the genin in their tracks. 

“Oh, hey, Naruto! Playing hooky again?”

“Hi Ino!” The  _ fucking  _ Hokage was genuinely bouncing in his seat to see the woman. “Aw man, and Neji and Tenten too! Lucky timing for me!”

“Hello, Naruto,” their sensei said in a measured tone. Tenten just waved distractedly at him as she tried to settle the toddler in the seat, because the kid was basically trying to run across the counter to get to-

“Naruto-ojisan! Hi, hi, hi!”

“Sit down, love bug!”

“Mama, it’s Naruto-ojisan! HI!”

“I know, sweetling. But we gotta sit to eat, okay?”

“Okay,” the kid said, looking terribly sad.

The Hokage had been talking to Blondie, but she departed with a slap on his back and he turned to face them all. 

“HARUKI-CHAN! How’s it going, buddy?”

“GOOD!” The kid launched to his feet again and went off talking a mile a minute, and the Hokage seemed entirely engrossed- except for when he gave Hyuga-sensei’s daughter a huge grin and a hair ruffle when she wordlessly went over to sit down next to him.

When Tomoe was able to turn away from the golden, radiant presence and tune back into her other surroundings, Hyuga-sensei had already ordered all of their usual food and was watching over them with an amused smile tugging at his mouth. 

“Naruto is a long-time friend,” he told them quietly.

“And cousin-in-law, honey,” his wife called to him, a glitter in her eyes. 

He sighed, looking a little more annoyed. “...That too.”

“What the fuck, sensei.”

Tomoe had been thinking those very words so intensely in her head that it took her a moment to realize that she wasn’t the one who said them.

They all turned to stare at Higuma, who was going steadily redder. “Uh. Sorry.”

“Seriously, Higuma!” Akari reprimanded. “He’s right though,” she told Hyuga-sensei. 

Much to their surprise, Hyuga-sensei laughed, tilting his head back a little. “It’s too bad you and Ino didn’t get to spend more time together,” he told Akari. “Another day, perhaps.”

Akari looked both thrilled and terrified at the very prospect.

Teuchi slid their bowls in front of them, and they all rustled around hastily for the chopsticks. Tenten had given up trying to contain the toddler, and let him run (on the ground) to go sit next to the Hokage as well. She slid into the spot next to her husband, running her hand over his shoulder blade as she did and then leaning up to kiss his cheek.

Hyuga-sensei held his chopsticks over his bowl and murmured, his gaze focused elsewhere, “Thank you for the food.”


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i technically promised this for nejiweek on tumblr, and then didn't finish in time :( sorry
> 
> but at least it's here in time for nejitenmonth, i guess??

The next Tomoe and those other genin met Tenten was under very different circumstances.

It’d been almost five months, filled with training and yelling at each other and a few handfuls of successful missions. Neji-sensei was looking slightly less haggard now, since they almost got along with each other, but every once in a while Tomoe would toss one of ‘em into a stream, just to show who was boss.

(It was  _ her _ , bitches.)

The three of them had just returned from their fifth ever C-rank mission- a week spent guarding an outer defense post of Konoha, not terribly exciting- with a woman named Kurenai as their jounin instructor.

Neji-sensei had told them that he would not be accompanying them on the mission for a few reasons, none of which he shared with them. Before they could argue with him- well, Higuma and Akari wanted to argue with him, Tomoe personally didn’t care that he apparently was just fucking abandoning them, like he hadn’t spend time training them and getting to know them and buying them lunch, nope, she didn’t give a  _ fuck _ -

Anyway, he’d introduced them to Kurenai, who looked fucking frail as hell but turned out to be all right as she coaxed them through the mission.  _ Way  _ too nice, but whatever.

They got back to Konoha and made the obligatory stop to the Hokage’s office for their report- and Kurenai had hugged that Nara advisor before chatting with him for a good long while, which was weird- and as they were exiting the room they ran into Tenten.

Not literally,  _ obviously _ . She was sitting in one of the chairs outside the Hokage’s office, dressed in mission attire, staring into space and looking tired and almost ill.

A few seconds after they’d exited- shitty reaction time- she turned her head over to look at them, assessing them with a sort of dull interest. “Ah, hello. Been a while. Well, not with you, Kurenai.” The older woman smiled neutrally in response.

“Hullo, Hyuga-san,” Akari chirped.

She smiled wryly. “Tenten-san is fine.” She stood and started walking towards the Hokage’s office, stretching her arms. “Nice seeing you.”

The encounter was over almost as quickly as it had begun. All three genin turned to watch her enter the Hokage’s office, the door snapping shut behind her.

“...huh,” Higume finally said. “That was, uh. Low-key.”

“Especially after last time,” Akari agreed. They both unsubtly stared at Tomoe.

She scowled and kicked the ground. “Hmph.”

“Since we’re all wrapped up here,” Kurenai said delicately, “Let’s head out.”

They made the walk down the stairs and out of the building. A truly impressive amount of people called out greetings to Kurenai, or chatted with her as they walked. Neji-sensei didn’t get nearly the same response when he was with them- people greeted him occasionally, but usually just stuck to nods.

Once outside the building, Kurenai reminded them, “Neji wanted me to remind you that you’ll have training in two days, usual field and time.” They all nodded, and she smiled. “Well then. See you around, all right?” They all split up, heading back to their respective homes. About fucking time.

* * *

Two days later, Tomoe arrived early to the training grounds to go through her warm ups, stretching out and doing some wind sprints.

Neji-sensei showed up exactly on time and spent the next five minutes trying to coax some conversation out of her as he did his own warm-ups: stretches, a fuck ton of pushups, squats, and hip extensions, then some  _ very  _ intense katas. (All the while maintaining a conversation-ish thing with her, and never once losing his breath. At least she knew he was competent.)

When Akari and Higuma finally showed up fifteen and seventeen minutes later, respectively, he had them each run an extra lap for every minute they’d been late, which was  _ great _ . You’d think after almost a year spent training at the same time pretty much every day they’d have started coming on time, but nope. 

Neji-sensei worked with her on her Crystal technique while her teammates finished their laps. She was trying to increase the distance, speed, and the accuracy of her attacks, which usually meant trying to spear Neji-sensei with them as he worked his way over to her from the end of the field.

So far she hadn’t been successful in stopping him from knocking her into the dirt, but at least it took him about seven seconds longer now.

Once the extras had finally finished their laps, they all worked on fine tuning their chakra control on moving water and got pretty damp by the time lunch rolled around.

They all had packed lunches today, since Neji-sensei always told them when he’d buy it for them ahead of time. Tomoe chewed her rice unhappily. She knew she should’ve asked her mom for her  _ karaage _ recipe before she left on her mission, but they’d just missed each other and now her bento  _ sucked _ .

As usual, Neji-sensei had a note in his lunch, and just like every-single-other-fucking time he read it with a soft smile. Seriously, every single day and you’d think he’d be used to it. (Akari used to wonder about who wrote the notes, but had shut up about it since they met his family. Because,  _ obviously. _ )

Akari eyed the note with a glint in her eye, then chirped, “Sensei, how’s your family doing?”

“Very well, thank you.” He folded the note back up and tucked it into one of the hidden pockets of his vest.

“We saw Tenten-san after we reported on our mission the other day,” Akari continued thoughtfully. “She looked, um, a little tired.”

He hummed thoughtfully as he split apart his fish. “I see. She’s been having some morning sickness, so that is likely why.”

A frozen silence as they all digested his words, then Higuma blurted,  _ “What?” _

“She’s pregnant, idiot,” Tomoe told him scathingly. 

“Sensei, she’s  _ pregnant?!”  _ Akari was vibrating in excitement, and when Neji-sensei nodded in confirmation she leapt to her feet. “HOLY SHIT!- pardon my language.”

Neji-sensei smiled broadly. “It’s all right, Akari. That was Tenten’s reaction as well.”

Akari immediately started bombarding him with questions, and Tomoe poked sourly at her chicken. There went their peaceful lunch break.

(At least it explained some things about the shadows under Tenten’s eyes when they saw her. She wasn’t dying.)

“Wait, Sensei,” Higuma said suddenly, “If she’s pregnant, um, shouldn’t- um, shouldn’t she not be going on missions? She was, um, reporting to the Hokage-”

Neji-sensei raised his hand in placation. “She’s available for combat missions until the end of her first trimester, then after that it’s diplomatic or trade missions until her doctor says otherwise. In any case, she’s not officially listed for combat missions anymore since she started the store and spends most of her time focused on that.”

Higuma digested the new information thoughtfully, then asked, “So, uh. So why was she reporting to the Hokage the other day?”

“She had been planning a trip to the Kusagakure for the shop, and Naruto asked her to bring along some official documents as well. Much to Hui Na’s disappointment, because she couldn’t bring her along if it was an official mission.”

Akari suddenly started sputtering on her lunch. After a hasty gulp of water, she blurted, “Does Tenten-san bring your kids on trips abroad, Sensei?”

“Occasionally. Haruki only just became old enough to bring without me there as well.”

“Woooooooow,” Akari breathed. Her eyes were shining.

“It’s part of why I was unavailable for your last mission.” Neji-sensei took the last bite of his lunch. He’d somehow eaten the rest of it during the conversation. “I needed to be home to watch Haruki and mind the shop during the day. I also wanted to see how well you all got along with Kurenai, as I’d like her to train you further in genjutsu.”

“Really?” Tomoe inwardly winced as they all swiveled to look at her. Whatever, Neji-sensei had surprised her so she’d just blurted it out.

After a beat, he nodded. “She’s one of the best in the village, even though she’s semi-retired.” He put aside his chopsticks, hesitated for such a short second that Tomoe might have imagined it, then added, “She was my cousin’s sensei all the way up until she was a jonin, so we’ve established a professional relationship.”

Tomoe watched him thoughtfully as Akari continued bombarding him with questions. He was more than happy to talk about his wife and children, but all other aspects of his family-

He surged to his feet suddenly, smirking at them in a way that meant trouble. “Break is over. Time to practice stealth- if I catch you, you’re in for it. Thirty seconds.”

With much swearing, they scattered.

* * *

The next time they saw Tenten was only a week later, when she came by their taijutsu practice with a bag of food, the toddler, and a pink-haired woman.

The toddler immediately ran to Neji-sensei and physically climbed up him to hug his neck, while the pink-haired woman was tackle-hugged by Lee-san, who had been helping them with their taijutsu that day.

It was so chaotic that they barely registered Tenten coming over until she was directly in front of them. 

“Hey, kiddos,” she said casually, like she hadn’t induced two hurricanes in their practice yard. “We brought you some  _ daifuku _ -”

“No, mama! Mama! I want to give it to them!” It was a wonder that Neji-sensei hadn’t gone deaf.

“Then you need to climb down and hand it to them, love bug.”

The kid pouted in thought, then cupped his tiny hand around Neji-sensei’s ear and whispered something. 

Their sensei silently walked over so the kid could grab the bag from Tenten, still cradled in his arms. She scowled at her husband.

“You spoiler,” she said accusingly. 

“I am not,” he replied indignantly, and kissed the kid’s temple as he happily rustled through the bag.

A few minutes later, they had each been handed a container of homemade  _ daifuku  _ by an elated child, and Higuma was speed-eating his happily. Akari and Tomoe had one each, watching as the kid chased Lee-san around while the pink-haired woman spoke with Neji-sensei and his wife in private.

The  _ daifuku _ was pretty good, Tomoe admitted to herself grudgingly. She’d have to get the recipe to share with her mom.

Eventually Neji-sensei wrapped up whatever conversation he was having, and he and pink-hair came back over to the students while Tenten went to chase Lee.

Upon closer look, Tomoe recognized Sakura Uchiha, head of the children’s hospital, Slug Sannin’s disciple, overall badass. She smiled cheerily at them and gave a little wave when Neji-sensei introduced her, but he pressed on before they could say anything back.

“In two weeks I will be undergoing surgery and will be unable to train you until I’ve recovered sufficiently, about four weeks-”

“ _ Six _ ,” Uchiha-san snapped.

Neji-sensei’s expression got very curt. “Five.”

“This isn’t a negotiation.”

“Six weeks is too long a time to force my students-”

“I don’t care how long  _ you  _ think your recovery period should be. That’s not your choice to make.”

Higuma and Tomoe made eye contact, both of them feeling quite awkward. Akari was watching the back-and-forth keenly. 

“If I have sufficiently healed-”

“You won’t have, so there’s no point in making hypotheticals. Six. Weeks.”

Neji-sensei’s jaw was visibly clenched. “In any case, Kurenai and Lee will be training with you on genjutsu and taijutsu respectively in that time period.”

Tomoe’s stomach felt like it had hit her feet, but she said nothing. He continued, “I will be available to help with any chakra theory, however, after-”

“-two.”

“-two weeks, thank you, Sakura…”

“You’re welcome.” She disregarded his obvious irritation and leaned back to stretch. “I could take a day to teach medical ninjutsu.”

He swiveled his head sharply to look at her. “Oh?”

“Sure. I mean, why not? I’ll talk to Lee and Kurenai-san about arranging a day.”

“...That would be very helpful, thank you.”

“Six weeks,” she reiterated harshly. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you never acknowledged it. I’ll be telling Tenten, too, so don’t try anything otherwise- except, no, she’d just as stupid as  _ you  _ about this sort of thing, isn’t she?”

Neji-sensei looked smug as he crossed his arms over his chest. Uchiha-san scowled at him. “I’ll tell Hui Na, then, and her big sad eyes will keep you in recovery the whole time.”

His smirk fell. Now he was clearly disgruntled, and Tomoe choked back her laugh.

Haruki smacked into Neji-sensei’s legs a few seconds later, screaming his head off- apparently Lee-san had turned the tables and was now chasing after him and Tenten- and in the following commotion and efforts to subdue it the students found themselves dismissed from practice without ever asking why the fuck Neji-sensei was getting surgery in the first place.

(Or without getting a good appraisal of Tenten, to see how pregnant she looked.)

* * *

The time flew by, and soon enough they had already been training with Kurenai on genjutsu for a week and a half. It felt like Neji-sensei had just disappeared, though he’d kept up constant reminders about when he would be taking his medical leave.

They’d managed to get him to explain that the surgery was a follow-up for war injuries he’d sustained years ago, and that while his life was in no way endangered he and his wife had decided it would be better if he was rested and recovered before the TWINS were born.

Yes, they were having fucking TWINS.

But that was practically the last day before he’d gone on leave, and they’d heard fuck-all since.

“I think we should visit his wife’s weapon shop,” Akari said snidely. They technically didn’t have training that day, but Higuma had asked Tomoe to help him with some genjutsu practice and somehow Akari had ended up there too.

And now she was doing what she usually did and trying to get them all to do something SHE wanted to do but wouldn’t do by herself.

“Don’t you think they’re probably pretty busy right now?” Higuma got nasally when he was tired. “If she’s pregnant, and he just had surgery, plus they have two other kids-”

“Ugh, so what’s YOUR plan?”

“Ask Lee-san when he trains with us next week.”

“I don’t wanna wait that long! Tomoe, YOU come with me to the shop.”

“Hard pass.” Tomoe slid the whetstone across her kunai with a sharp  _ shhk  _ that made Akari flinch. She set the kunai aside, satisfied.

“Well, you  _ were _ just saying the other day that you needed more kunai,” Higuma said thoughtfully. Tomoe sent him a death glare, but he didn’t even flinch. He was too used to her now.

“...I’m going on our day off for more kunai. If I see you there, I see you there.”

“YES!” Akari shot both fists in the air. “I ALWAYS GET WHAT I WANT!”

“I hate her,” Tomoe told Higuma. He shrugged, unbothered.

* * *

Akari  _ and  _ Higuma were both waiting for her outside the weapons shop the next day. They looked suspicious as hell.

“You look suspicious as hell.”

“Get fucked.”

For some reason, they stopped in unison outside the shop and stared through the window. Tomoe’s eyebrows shot up at the crowd of people around the main counter. Tenten was sitting behind the counter, looking a little green, while two women spoke with her. They watched just in time for one of the women to slyly murmur something that made the other woman flush scarlet and smack her arm.

Tenten just threw her head back and roared with laughter. 

Feeling awkward over staring, Tomoe shoved the door open and strode inside. Higuma scrambled to follow her, and a beat later so did Akari. 

The three women swivelled to look at them, and Tomoe’s step almost faltered at the two pale Hyuga gazes that swept over them. Even as used as she was to Neji-sensei, other Hyugas could be somewhat unsettling.

Both women smiled, and the feeling eased.

“Oh, I know this,” One of them said. “Tomoe, Akari, Higuma.” She pointed at each of them respectively when she declared their names, and Tomoe physically had to restrain herself from snarling in response. 

She  _ did not like it  _ when people knew about her, okay?

Akari apparently didn’t either. “Sure. Who are you?”

The woman snickered. “I’m Hanabi.”

Thrown off by such a frank answer, Akari floundered. “Uh. Well. Why do you know us?”

“I don’t,” she retorted, still grinning. “I know Neji-nii and Tenten-nee-”

“Shut the  _ fuck  _ up,” Tenten muttered. Hanabi grinned. The yet unnamed woman looked mildly horrified.

“And by proxy, I know you, since Neji-nii won’t shut up about you idiots.”

“We  _ are  _ idiots,” Higuma said thoughtfully.

“Maybe  _ you  _ are,” Tomoe snapped.

“Yeah, don’t loop us in your shit.” 

Tomoe and Akari nodded at each other in resounding agreement before Akari turned back to the woman. “I didn’t know Neji-sensei had a sister.”

“You probably don’t know a lot of things,” the woman said happily. “Too easy.”

Akari puffed up, rage in every line of her face. The other woman said firmly, “Hanabi. No need to antagonize them.”

“It’s so fun and easy, though.”

“Okay-” Tenten shoved herself to her feet, and they all goggled a little bit. She was  _ definitely _ pregnant. It wasn’t a huge belly, or anything, but it was unmistakable. “Hanabi, go bother my children instead.”

“As opposed to bothering Neji’s children, huh?”

“Scram, brat.”

“I am twenty-eight,  _ Tenten-nee _ , don’t you think I’m a little old to be called that?”

“Hinata,” Tenten said plaintively. The newly-named Hinata told Hanabi, “Go show Boruto those katas from last month.”

Hanabi sent them one last teasing smirk before turning to walk out through the back. “See ya, Neji babies.”

“Kami. Don’t let Haruki ever hear you call them that, he’ll have a meltdown.” Tenten rubbed her eyes as the door shut behind the woman’s pealing laughter, then looked back at the genin. “Sorry about her, she’s actually the worst person to ever exist-”

Hinata giggled, then looked deeply ashamed.

“-anyway. What’s up?”

Tomoe shrugged. “I’m here to shop. They’re here to snoop.”

“Incorrect,” Higuma said. “I’m here because I’m bad at standing up for myself.”

“ _ I’m  _ here to snoop,” Akari declared.

Tomoe ignored them to shop for her kunai.

* * *

Hinata was probably one of the most beautiful women she’d ever seen, Akari decided.

Not just physically- not to throw it out, or anything, she had big eyes lined with thick eyelashes, her hair was a shimmering blue, her face finely boned, she had full, soft-looking lips-

Okay. Anyway.

She was also soft-spoken, earnest, and very kind, and talking to her was easily the highlight of Akari’s week so far. (To be fair, the week had kind of sucked, since Neji-sensei was gone.) 

“Wait, so you’re  _ not  _ Neji-sensei’s sister?”

“I’m his cousin, but we’re quite close.”

“Oh. Hey, what was sensei like as a kid?”

“... Ah, well, I suppose he was quite similar to how he was now, if a little more hot-headed.”

“The fiery passions of youth,” Tenten agreed, then she snickered.

Tomoe suddenly appeared in front of the counter and slammed down two kunai sets. “This one’s got a steel handle and this one’s titanium. Which is better.”

Akari was about to reprimand her for the way she “asked” the question- it was more of a demand, really- but Tenten looked like her birthday had come early. She and Tomoe were suddenly in the kunai section as the woman gleefully gestured at the selection and yammered away.

Tomoe didn’t even seem pissed. Her scowl was more of concentration variety than rage. She really had come so far.

Higuma had apparently gotten bored of the various conversations and was walking around the room, poking at some of the weapons. Akari wanted to tell him to stop, but Hinata had started softly retelling a story about herself and Neji-sensei playing in a garden when they were younger, and her attention was quickly diverted.

There was the sound of a door closing, and feet slamming on the ground as someone ran up to the front of the shop from the back.

“Hey, Mom!”

“Auntie!”

“MOM!”

Several someones, perhaps.

“Wait, should I call her mom too?”

“Yeah, definitely!” 

“Nice. Moooooom!”

That appeared to just be Hanabi having a good time.

Three people burst through the back door, Hanabi a few steps behind them, and all started talking at once. Akari caught a glimpse of two dark-haired heads and one blonde one before they all lined up in front of where Hinata was sitting.

Over the chorus of voices and Hanabi gleefully calling Hinata “mom” about eighty times in a row, Akari glanced up at Hinata, who looked like she’d aged slightly in the last thirty seconds. She raised her hand, and the voices quieted. “Yes?”

“Can you show Hui Na your Twin Lion Fists? She’s never seen it!” That was Blondie- wait,  _ shit _ , that was the Hokage’s son. 

Gears started turning in Akari’s head. Oh,  _ damn. _

“Please, Auntie?” Hui Na said, clasping her hands together. “Boruto and Hima said that you made it up all by yourself!”

“Of course!” Hinata smiled broadly at them. “I haven’t done it in a while, though, so we’ll see how good I am at it now.”

Hui Na twisted her fingers together, looking excited, while the two other kids whooped in delight and started jumping around. 

Akari stared at Boruto-senpai, wide-eyed.  _ Eek _ , he was so cute this close!

She caught Hui Na looking at her and grinned. “Hi, Hui Na-chan! How are you?”

“U-um! Hi, Akari-san! I am doing very well, thank you for asking!”

Hinata got to her feet. “Tenten, is it alright if we use the back?”

“Of course.” Tenten crossed to the cash register and started ringing up a kunai set and two sai for Tomoe, who was looking grouchily excited about her new weapons. “The shed has some targets and a few stealth sets, if you’re interested. Hui Na can show you where.”

She cast her eye over Akari, gaping at Boruto, and then Higuma, also gaping at Boruto. “Why don’t you all go? Once I’m done helping Tomoe we’ll join you.”

“I haven’t agreed to that,” Tomoe muttered. 

“It’s a pretty neat jutsu.”

“...Hn.”

The crowd of people was beginning to head towards the back again, so Akari grabbed Higuma’s wrist and dragged him after them. “Tomoe, you have to come so we can go get shaved ice together later!”

“I never agreed to that either!”

“It’s hot out, we’re getting shaved ice!”

Higuma, stumbling slightly behind her, mused, “I don’t think I agreed to do that either, technically.”

“Shut up, Higuma, you have no say in this.”

“I know,” he said mournfully.

They tumbled out into the backyard just behind the others. Akari tried not to blush at the appraising look Boruto-senpai sent them and failed.

She dragged Higuma up to stand next to her, and felt slightly better seeing that he was blushing too.

Hui Na and the other girl- Akari had kind of skipped over her when she was there earlier, which she felt guilty about- were helping Hanabi set up a training dummy, while Hinata was slowly clenching and unclenching her hands. Boruto was now watching her, an eager glint in his eye.

“Mom, when’s the last time you used Twin Lion Fists?”

“Oh,  _ years _ . Not since before Himawari was a baby, I think.”

“But she can still kick your butt, Boruto-nii!” The girl punched the air excitedly. Upon closer look, she had the distinctive eyes and whisker marks of the Hokage, but her hair was more like Hinata’s. 

_ Himawari _ , Akari remembered. 

She grabbed Hui Na’s hand and started jumping up and down in excitement, and after a few seconds Hui Na started jumping too. 

Akari grinned at them as they started chanting in time to their jumps. It must have been fun to have a cousin the same age as you.

“Go mom! Go mom! Go mom!”

“Go auntie, go auntie, go auntie!”

Hinata laughed softly. “Let me warm up a little, please.” She started moving through a few slow katas that looked a lot like the ones Neji-sensei did, only he did his much faster. A few moments later she activated her Byakugan and sent chakra pulsing over her palms, her katas steadily increasing in speed.

Akari watched carefully, enthralled.

Hinata seemed to decide she was sufficiently prepared and abruptly stopped. “All right. Now, what did you want the training dummy for?”

“Kill him!” Himawari hollered. 

“Yeah!” Boruto-senpai grinned. “Knock his head off!” 

Hui Na nodded fervently, eyes locked on her aunt.

Hanabi laughed, then cupped her hands around her mouth and yelled, “Get his ass!”

A hastily-stifled snort came from behind them, and they swivelled to look at Tenten as she walked the last few paces over to where they were. Tomoe trailed behind her, fiddling with her new sai.

“Don’t swear around the kiddies, Hanabi.”

“What, like they haven’t heard it all before! Are you suggesting that you censor yourself in front of Hui Na? In front of Neji’s genin?”

“I am a paragon of grace.”

“Yeah, right!” Boruto-senpai pointed accusingly at her, but still grinned. “I learned the word ‘shit’ from you!”

“ _ Boruto _ .” Hinata’s tone was decidedly deadly, and his expression faltered. “Sorry, mom.”

She eyed him for a few more seconds before turning to face the dummy again. “All right.”

Suddenly her hands blazed with chakra, and Akari gaped at the distinctive shape of a lion’s angry roar. 

It was a colossal, swirling vortex of blue chakra, and as Hinata raised her hands and charged the training dummy, Akari numbly wondered why she hadn’t heard of Hinata before, in all her research.

The dummy was pretty much wiped off the face of the earth a few seconds later, splinters and pieces of fabric flying wildly through the air. Hui Na and her cousins were cheering wildly from the sides as Hanabi roared with laughter at their delighted dancing.

“Huh,” Higuma muttered next to her. He looked pretty impressed, not that Akari could blame him. 

“YOSH!”  _ That  _ distinctive bellow could belong to one person and one person only, and Akari didn’t even bother turning to look at Lee-san as she watched the last of the dust drift through the air. “THAT WAS SPECTACULAR, HINATA!” 

“Thank you, Lee.” Hinata said. She brushed off her hands idly, smiling at Lee behind them all, then said to him, “Neji-niisan, it’s good to see you up and walking again!”

_ Wait _ . 

Akari and Higuma whirled around at the same time, staring past Tenten’s smirking face and the back of Tomoe’s head to gape at Neji-sensei. His smile back was a little smug.

“Thank you, Hinata. Hello students.”

They all mumbled out a greeting, still staring. He looked more or less fine, with a few bandages visible under the neckline of his robes. 

He was with Lee-san, obviously, and his son was sitting in the lap of a man in a wheelchair behind them. Lee-san’s father, perhaps; they certainly looked a lot alike. But the kid wasn’t there for long, of course, as he scrambled over to his mother to put both palms over her belly and started yelling greetings at the babies.

Tenten looked very tired in that moment, and Akari tried not to feel amused  _ at all _ , because it would have been very rude. Tomoe, being an asshole, openly snickered. Tenten reached out and whiffed the back of her head, which just turned the snickers into guffaws.

That done, the kid skipped off to tackle Boruto-senpai. 

Neji-sensei had continued walking towards them as they watched the mayhem of a toddler beating on his older cousin, and cleared his throat quietly to get their attention

They whipped around to face him. Up close, Akari could see the shadows under his eyes had gotten more pronounced.

“It’s good to see you all. How has your training been going with Kurenai so far?”

“Good,” they chorused. Higuma added, “I’m actually pretty good at genjutsu, which was surprising for all of us.” Akari hid her smirk by ducking her chin.

“You do have an affinity towards it.” Neji-sensei smiled slightly, shifting his gaze over Akari and Tomoe. “And you two?”

“I suck at it,” Tomoe said uncaringly. Akari nodded. “Same.”

“Higuma is my favorite genin for the week, then.”

“ _ What? _ ”

“Ahhh, no fair, sensei!”

“HA!”

There was a loud “AHEM-HEM!” behind them, which Neji-sensei ignored. “If you find that you want to develop your genjutsu further after this week, Higuma, let me know and I can arrange for you to study further with Kurenai-san or another specialist.”

“Uh, sure.” Higuma, like Akari and Tomoe, was fixated on the man behind Neji-sensei, who was somehow managing to puff himself up as he turned steadily redder. Neji-sensei still ignored his loud throat clearing.

“You have trained with Lee before, so you are familiar with his style of-”

Akari made eye contact with the man, and was shot a gigantic, sparkling grin.

“SINCE OUR DEAR NEJI SEEMS TO HAVE DECIDED TO IGNORE ME, I SEE I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO INTRODUCE MYSELF!”

He gave them a flourishing thumbs-up, then bellowed, “IIIIII AM GAI MAITO, KONOHA’S NOBLE GREEN BEAST!”

He pivoted in his wheelchair to bring his arms above his head in another exuberant pose. “AAAAANNND I AM LEE, NEJI, AND TENTEN’S GENIN SENSEI AND CHUNIN TEAM LEADER!”

Another pose. “AAAAANNND, MOST IMPORTANTLY, I AM HARUKI AND HUI NA’S GRANPOP!”

“AND THE BABIES! GRANPOP, THE BABIES!”

“THAT IS TRUE, HARUKI! WHEN THE BABIES ARE BORN, I WILL BE THEIR GRANPOP AS WELL!”

Tomoe, who had always been a little more sensitive to loud noises, grimaced and tucked her head a little closer to her shoulders. Neji-sensei watched her with a frown, then cleared his throat. “Gai.”

“Ah. Anyway, hello, dear grandstudents! It’s a pleasure to meet you!”   
  


“Ack,” Higuma muttered, flustered. Gai-san’s grin was wide and friendly, but being referred to as “grandstudents” was decidedly bewildering, if also cute as hell.

Akari bowed neatly to Gai-san. “And it’s very nice to meet you, sir!” Higuma hastily echoed her, and Tomoe grudgingly inclined her head and shoulders. Gai-san sparkled at them, practically vibrating.

“Now then, I’ve spoken to Neji about your training, of course, but I’d like to hear from you as well! What do you think of your sensei?”

It felt like a loaded question, and Akari couldn’t help but eye Neji-sensei out of the corner of her eye. “Uh…”

He huffed out the slightest suggestion of a laugh, then said, “I think I will become completely engrossed in conversation with my cousins and teammates for no particular reason.” He gave them all a slight smirk before turning and joining the other adults in conversation as their respective children chased each other wildly around the training yard.

Gai-san watched him go, then snapped his attention back to the genin and said, “Quick, talk shit while you can!”

“Gai!” Neji-sensei was apparently not very engrossed in conversation yet.

Gai-san had the grace to look a little ashamed, but also let out a rolling chuckle, pleased with himself. “Oh, dear. My husband’s influence, there.”

“Or mine!” Tenten volunteered gleefully.

“That is true, my youthful buttercup! You have the mouth of a sailor. Frankly I don’t know where you learned such language, despite my teachings of chivalry.”

“Kakashi.”

“Ah, that would make sense. You know, the other day he told me-”

“Gai.” Neji-sensei pinched his brow. “I thought you wanted to talk to my students?”

“AHA! That’s right!”

He pointed dramatically, then bellowed, “I quite forgot what we were talking about!”

Akari fought back a scream.

“It doesn’t matter,” Neji-sensei cut in swiftly, “Haruki-chan and I-”

“Baba-!” The kid twisted his face, distressed. He’d climbed on top of Boruto-senpai's shoulders and had seemed quite happy there a minute ago.

“-Haruki- _ kun  _ and I need to head home.” The kid turned back to his cousin, satisfied at being so addressed. 

Akari felt herself deflate a little, disappointed that Neji-sensei would be leaving so soon. A ten minute conversation after a week of absence did  _ not  _ make up for the lost time, in her humble and also very correct opinion.

Higuma also frowned, looking even more mopey than usual. Tomoe clenched her jaw.

Abruptly she said, “I got the weapons I wanted, so I’m leaving too.”

Akari flared up with indignation. “Not without us you’re not! Shaved ice, remember?”

Tomoe rolled her eyes. “It’ll taste the same with or without me there.”

“It’s because we want to spend time with you, you asshole!”

That actually made Tomoe laugh, a rarely heard but surprisingly pleasant sound. “Why would you want to spend time with me if I’m an asshole?”

“Because I’m  _ that _ nice!”

“You are  _ not _ -”

“KAMI.” Higuma buried his face in his hands. “LET’S JUST GO GET THE STUPID ICE. YOU GUYS ARE EMBARRASSING MY IN FRONT OF OUR GRAND-SENSEI.”

Gai-san let out a rolling stream of chortles at that, and Neji-sensei smiled a little. “Haruki-kun,” he called. “Time to go home.”

The kid threw him an absolutely devastated look from his spot cuddled against Himawari-chan’s legs. Neji-sensei merely held out his hand in invitation, and the kid reluctantly dragged himself away from his cousin and started desperately hugging his relatives goodbye like he was never going to see them again.

Tenten squatted down to kiss him goodbye, the movement as smooth as anything they’d ever seen from her, and he flung his arms around her neck and bawled, “Bye, mama, I love you!”

“Sweetling, I’ll be home with Hui Na before dinnertime.”

“I know, but I’ll MISS you!”

Tenten made direct eye contact with Akari over the top of his head. “Every time,” she said flatly. Akari couldn’t stifle her giggles.

Haruki finally rushed over to Neji-sensei to take his proffered hand, his sadness apparently already forgotten in the joy of holding hands with his father. Neji-sensei shifted his son’s hand in his grip, then nodded goodbye to his family as they departed through the alleyway to the front street.

Tomoe let out the tiniest scoffing noise, then started to walk after them. Akari took a few steps after her, realized Higuma wasn’t following, twirled back to grab his arm, and then hastily dropped into a bow towards the adults. 

“It was very nice to meet you, Hinata-san, Gai-san, Hanabi-san! And thank you for having us again, Tenten-san!” 

She straightened and caught Hui Na’s gaze. “Nice to see you, Hui Na-chan!”

The girl flushed a little and waved her hand in enthusiastic goodbye. Satisfied, Akari tightened her grip around Higuma’s arm and took off after Tomoe.

* * *

Higuma allowed himself to blissfully zone out as he trailed after his teammates and sensei. It was so nice to just turn off his brain sometimes and ignore Akari’s constant talking.

The most recent thing he’d paid attention to was Akari and Tomoe arguing over which shaved ice stand to go to, eventually deciding on the one that just  _ happened  _ to be closer to where Neji-sensei and the kid lived.

He wasn’t complaining (for once), and he also wasn’t going to call out Tomoe for stubbornly insisting on going to this one, even though he knew for a fact she had a few other ones she liked more in the exact opposite direction. She wanted to walk with Neji-sensei for as long as possible, and if she wasn’t so terrifying he’d think it was nice.

In any case, Akari had started blabbering soon after that, so Higuma just let his eyes unfocus as his brain went foggy. Sure, it’d be a habit he’d have to curb on missions, but here in the village it wasn’t as though he was in danger-

In his next step, he smacked into Tomoe’s back as she stopped walking. They both let out undignified noises, and Neji-sensei and Akari both turned to look from where they’d pulled ahead.

(The kid, for his part, was clearly just having a good time swinging off Neji-sensei’s hand, and was paying them absolutely no attention.)

“Watch where you’re going,” Tomoe snapped at him, pink-faced. 

“Sorry,” Higuma said automatically, his mind already fogging over again. Tomoe  _ tch _ -ed, clearly able to tell he wasn’t really paying attention, but fell into step beside him. They followed after the others until they reached the shaved ice stand. Higuma was surprised (but also not really, because kids and sweets) to see Neji-sensei buy a small amount of shaved ice for Haruki after they had gotten their servings.

Higuma ate his ice in about a minute and then spent the remainder of the walk to Neji-sensei’s house nursing the resulting brainfreeze mournfully. Tomoe eyed him smugly out of the corner of her eye, clearly knowing the source of his discomfort, and he elbowed her lovingly in the ribs.

He tried to pay attention to what Akari was yammering about to Neji-sensei, he really did, but it was so much easier to just stare idly up at all the birds passing by.

It was a bit of a surprise for him when they arrived at Neji-sensei’s house, but it was even  _ more  _ of a surprise when Neji-sensei let his kid run up to the door, then turned to them and offered, “Would you care to come in for tea? I’d like to discuss your training so far.”

“BABA, THE DOOR’S LOCKED!” Haruki-kun gripped the door handle, then let his full body weight swing underneath it to illustrate his point. Neji-sensei said, just a little sharper than they’d heard him address his kid before, “Haruki. What have we said about pulling on things like that?”

He let go and then plopped down on the front step, looking impatient. Neji-sensei turned back to them. 

“Tea?”

“Sure!” Akari clearly thought she was speaking for all of them, which, yes, but she could be less presumptuous about it.

They followed Neji-sensei up the walk to the front door, where the kid had slumped over in apparent boredom. He perked up as Neji-sensei unlocked the door, but Higuma thought he walked in the house quite sedately, all things considered.

Neji-sensei stepped in next, and they all followed with a great deal of anticipation. 

Higuma’s first impression was that it was quite bright inside the house. He looked directly into a sunbeam and then spent the next two minutes blinking the spots out of his eyes.

Once he had regained his vision, he looked around the room Neji-sensei had led them into. It was probably the main room for entertaining guests, if the low tables and cushions were anything to go by. 

Neji-sensei excused himself to go make tea and deal with the kid- Higuma heard him say something about “quiet time”- and Akari instantly shot to her feet to snoop around the room.

Higuma groaned. “Akari, don’t-”

“I’m curious!” She defended. “Plus, it’s the guest room and guests are meant to look around!”

“I don’t think that logic is true…”

She ignored him and peered at the single photograph that was placed on a side table. After a moment, she chirped, “Oh, this is cute!-” and actually  _ grabbed  _ it off the table to show to them.

“Wha-  _ Akari! _ ”

“Just look!”

“Put that  _ back _ !” Tomoe hissed. Akari ignored her too and shoved the picture under her nose. After a few moments of glaring, Tomoe took it, and her face softened a little.

Interest piqued, Higuma stretched out his hand, and Tomoe passed it to him too. It was a family portrait, almost, except it also included quite a few people outside Neji-sensei’s wife and children.

Neji-sensei and his wife were seated in the middle. Neji-sensei was holding Hui Na, who looked about five, and his wife was holding a baby that must have been Haruki. Hanabi-san was next to Neji-sensei, then Hinata-san was next to her holding toddler-aged Himawari.

Standing next to Hinata was the fucking Hokage.

_ Yes _ , Higuma knew that they were married and everything, but it was still weird as hell that the Hokage was  _ married  _ to Neji-sensei’s  _ cousin _ .

(The Hokage was holding Boruto-senpai, but that was unimportant because  _ Hokage _ .)

But that wasn’t even the weirdest part of the portrait.

On Tenten-san’s side, Gai-san was in his wheelchair and with a pug dog in his lap. Seated next to  _ him _ was a man with silver hair wearing a  _ mask _ , of all things, and he had  _ three  _ dogs in his lap and four more seated on raised platforms behind him.. They were dressed in tiny ninja outfits and Higuma didn’t know  _ how  _ he could tell, but they were all smiling.

Eight dogs in the family portrait. What the hell.

And then, because the situation wasn’t weird enough already, Lee-san was standing behind Gai, with another child on his shoulders that looked almost exactly like him, and standing next to him was the KAZEKAGE.

THE KAZEKAGE. WAS IN NEJI-SENSEI’S FAMILY PORTRAIT.

Higuma stared at the portrait for a very long time, until Akari got impatient and snatched it back again. She cooed over the babies for a while, and the dogs, and then Tomoe took it back from her to stare at it some more. Akari mindlessly continued talking.

Tomoe said abruptly, “Neji-sensei has some friends in  _ very  _ high places.”

Akari stopped her monologue. “Yeah, but we knew about the Hokage already.”

“We knew about the  _ seventh  _ Hokage. Not the sixth.”

“The…” Higuma stared for a few moments, then something clicked. “The masked man?  _ Wait _ , that’s the sixth? Kakashi Hatake?”

“Yes.”

Akari let out a loud squealing noise and tried to take the picture back, but Tomoe didn’t let her, and they scuffled wildly for a few seconds before she resigned herself to peering over Tomoe’s shoulder.

She looked excited at first, but then deflated. “Aw, he’s just a plain old man!”

Higuma choked on his saliva. “He’s-  _ what _ ?”

“I heard he was super handsome! This is just some guy!”

“Yeah, the  _ sixth Hokage! _ Who cares what he looks like!”

“Not just the  _ Hokage _ ,” Tomoe said, a bit of a hostile tilt in her voice. “If you could do half the things he’s done for Konoha, you could retire as a great shinobi, Akari.”

Akari met Higuma’s eyes, just as surprised as he was over Tomoe’s vehement defence for the Sixth. She shrugged a little, and he decided not to question it.

“Well, another thing,” He began nervously. “That red-haired man next to Lee-san?” They both looked down at the same time. “That’s the Kazekage.”

He couldn’t help but relish the silence that followed. It was nice to know something they didn’t, for once.

Tomoe stood, the sudden movement startling them both, and crossed the room, portrait in hand. She set it back where Akari had grabbed it from, then strode back to the table and sat down again with rigid movements.

They both stared at her, surprised, and she glared. “It’s none of our business.”

“I don’t mind if you ask,” Neji-sensei's voice made them all jump about a meter in the air. Higuma stared at him, heart pounding, as he crossed the room and set down the tea tray on the table. He sat in the seat they’d left for him and began handing tea out to them, quietly prompting, “Akari, would you care to sit?”

She gracelessly sunk down into her spot, staring.

Neji-sensei took a sip of his tea then set his cup back down, looking pleased with its taste. His smile, when he turned to them again, was a little smug. “Go ahead and ask.”

“Why do you know the Sixth and the Kazekage?” Okay, Akari was pretty annoying, sure, but also sometimes Higuma  _ really  _ appreciated her.

“Gai and Kakashi have been partners for as long as I’ve known them, and Lee and Gaara have been together for- almost ten years now, I believe.”

There was a silence as they all digested the information, and Neji-sensei mused, “We should get them a ten-year anniversary gift. I will have to remind Tenten.” He sipped at his tea again.

The silence welled.

Tomoe started drinking her tea too. After the first few sips, she paused and asked, “Sensei, what kind of tea is this?”

“Gyokuro.”

Tomoe hummed a little in acknowledgement, then took a long, slow sip of the tea.

For someone so impatient and fast-paced, she sure did like to savor the food she ate. Higuma didn’t know why, but had promised to himself he would figure it out.

Neji-sensei finally set his tea aside and prompted, “How has training with Kurenai-san been?”

* * *

Tenten waved absently over her shoulder at the retreating figures of her teammates and cousin-in-laws as she finished locking up for the night. Boruto had left about an hour earlier, and Himawari was off to the side clutching her sleepover bag as she and Hui Na chattered excitedly.

She threw them a grin that they couldn’t see. Himawari wouldn’t mind her gushing over how cute she thought they were, but Hui Na was starting to go from preening over attention to being a little embarrassed by it.

But still. Her daughter and niece? Cutest best friends around.

She activated the seal that would release a  _ very  _ nasty trap if the lock was picked and stepped back, work finished. “All right, girls, let’s head home.”

She didn’t talk much on the walk home between the girls’ rapid conversation, but was quietly glad of the time it gave her to think. After all this time, Neji  _ must  _ have rubbed off on her, if she’d started looking forward to having some time to herself so much.

There was a lull in the conversation ahead of her, and she took her moment while it was there. “What should we have for dinner, girls?”

“RAMEN!”

Well, she had sort of expected that.

They made a quick stop at a late market to get the ingredients they needed- as well as a few desserts for them to sneak later, no need for Neji to know- before they set off again. Their current home was actually quite close to the market, but with TWO damn babies on the way Tenten and Neji had begun discussing a move to a larger home. Somewhere closer to the Uzumakis, perhaps, so all the cousins could visit. 

_ Ugh _ . Two babies, because Neji’s freaky genes HAD to do that. (When she’d complained at him, he pointed out that until they could determine if the twins were identical or fraternal it couldn’t really be decided if had come from his side of the family, because identical twins didn’t have a genetic component like fraternal twins did, and plus his father had been an identical twin anyway, and then she’d punched his shoulder and told him to shut up.)

The girls ran up the walk ahead of her to the door, practically spilling into the house. She entered a few seconds behind and immediately smacked into them, unexpectedly stopped short. 

She saw why immediately- just beyond the extra pairs of shoes, Haruki had three genins helping him build the most extensive blanket fort they could possibly make.

After a few moments of watching, she had to swallow the laughter that was bubbling in the back of her throat. Akari clearly was attempting to be in charge of the whole affair- yielding to Haruki’s demands occasionally- but was being challenged every step of the way by Tomoe, who was probably just trying to be an asshole. Higuma was doing his best to do everything the  _ both  _ of them told him to do, which meant that most of the fort had been built by him.

He waved awkwardly at her and the girls from where he sat beneath a blanket with Haruki, Tomoe and Akari having stopped building completely so they could put their full attention into arguing.

Haruki, upon noticing them, shot to his feet and yelled, “HUI NA! HIMA!  _ MAMA! _ ”

It effectively stopped the argument between the genins, but when he slammed into Tenten’s abdomen for a hug at terminal velocity she was less amused.

Okay, she  _ really  _ needed to get him to stop with this. She loved her little snuggler, but she had babies in there, for fuck’s sake.

She steered him back from her. “Hey there, love bug. Can you bring this to the kitchen for me?”

He took the bag of groceries from her with a determined expression and shuffled to the kitchen with it, and she turned to the genins again. “Hello again. Not sure if Neji’s officially invited you or not, but you’re welcome to stay for dinner. Homemade chicken ramen.”

“Oh-” Akari was the one who spoke, but all three of them looked absolutely gobsmacked. Tenten tried not to let her grin turn into a smirk. 

Tomoe said abruptly, “I can stay.” A pause. “... thanks.”

“Right- thank you for the invitation, Tenten-san! I’ll text my parents…”Akari trailed off absently as she pulled out her phone, and Higuma hastily did the same. Tenten glanced down at Himawari and Hui Na, the latter of whom was staring at the genins with a funny look on her face as her cousin shot her curious looks.

“Girls, do you want to go set up in Hui Na’s room?”

That started them into action again, and the two trotted off into the house further. 

A loud holler from the kitchen. “MAMA, I PUT THE BAG BY THE FRIIIIDGE!”

“THANK YOU! WHERE’S YOUR- oh!”

She tried not to squeak as Neji seemed to  _ appear  _ behind her, putting a discreet hand over her hip. “Welcome back.”

“Give me a damn warning! Jeez.”

He gave her a benign look, then repeated, “Welcome back.”

“I heard you the first time.”

“Then respond. Welcome back.”

“You’re such a pedant. I’m  _ home _ , butthead.”

There was a hastily muffled snicker from one of the genin. Neji ignored it to press a brief kiss to her temple, and she tried not to lean into it like the utter sap she was. He then turned to the genins.

“Thank you for keeping Haruki entertained for so long. He usually- ah.” Haruki came marching determinedly back into the room, clutching Noodle in his arms. The cat, heaped awkwardly in his embrace, gave Tenten a  _ very  _ patient look as he was placed down on a cushion. 

“There! Hokage of the fort!”

Tenten interrupted, somewhat hastily. “Haruki-kun, do you want to help me start making dinner?”

“Okay!”

He kissed Noodle’s head then followed her into the kitchen, happy to chatter at her and occasionally help her with the simpler aspects of making the food. Tenten strained to listen over his piping voice- Hui Na and Himawari were still in Hui Na’s room, likely playing, and she could hear Neji’s low tones as he conversed with the students.

He was  _ such  _ a dork of a sensei, always trying to impress them with his training and wise words. Apparently it worked (which was hilarious), because even Tomoe regarded him with a little bit of awe.

And they liked him  _ so  _ much that they came tottering around her shop to scope for information in the two weeks since they’d seen him, which was  _ also _ hilarious. Not that she could blame them, really. The days after his surgery when he’d stayed in the hospital, she’d gone around the village feeling cranky and distinctly out of sorts.

She was just a  _ little  _ codependent, but after hundreds of missions and almost two decades together, she and Neji fit together completely and utterly.

Haruki had gotten bored by the time she was dishing up eight portions of ramen, and had moved into the next room to furiously color in his notebook. She called him back over to help set the table- which he did with a little grumbling- then called to the house at large, “FOOD!”

Himawari came into the dining room so fast that it almost gave Tenten whiplash watching her, and Hui Na and Haruki came trotting in a few moments later. The four of them settled at the table as they waited for the others, Himawari practically dipping her face into the bowl in front of her.

Neji and his genins came along presently and they all settled into dinner. Tenten sat back to let the kids do most of the talking, quietly taking the opportunity to watch the genins. Neji had told her things, of course- at great length, in his own distinct way- but it was still interesting to gauge them for herself.

For example, if anyone paid too much attention to Higuma he’d curl up and die, and if people didn’t pay  _ enough  _ attention to Akari she’d stretch out dramatically and die, and if Tomoe’s mom didn’t pay enough attention to  _ her  _ then she got achingly lonely.

And based on what Tenten had heard, Tomoe’s mom took frequent missions now that Tomoe was old enough to actually take care of herself, because more missions meant more money which meant an easier life for two ostracized kunoichi.

But it also made Tomoe withdraw and cover up her vulnerabilities even  _ more _ , and Neji was quietly worried over how she was dealing with it.

Which led to a very roundabout way of getting her comfortable coming over, enough that perhaps she’d do it regularly when she was alone at home. And her teammates’ persistent attempts to get her to spend time with them must be helping as well, because she was looking less hollow in the days when her mom was gone. 

(Tenten had met the woman briefly when she had come over to discuss her daughter’s training with Neji, and for the life of her could not recall her name or face- which was entirely intentional on the other woman’s part. She did stealth like few others could even attempt.)

After a few minutes spent watching the genins’ dynamics, she pulled herself from her reverie in time to catch Haruki’s glass after he accidentally elbowed it off the table. 

“Oh, mama!”

“Careful, kiddo.” She set the glass back on the table, far away from the edge. “Remember if you spill, you have to lay in it so your shirt soaks it all up.”

The utterly baffled and somewhat alarmed looks from the genins, plus her children’s gleeful giggles, were entirely worth Neji’s drawn-out sigh and rebuke. “Tenten.”

“Yes, dearest?”

He pinched his brow, seemingly trying to find the words. Finally he said, “You’re weird.”

She sputtered, and every single kid at the table instantly revealed themselves as brats as they  _ all  _ started giggling.

Her only retort was a rather weak, “Well, you married me! What’s that make you?”

“The most patient man in the world.” He stood before she could sputter at him some more, gathering up the empty dishes. She scowled at him- what a prick!- before rising to help.

Neji saw his genins off at the door while she settled Haruki down doing his schoolwork, then started the dishes. The girls dragged Hui Na’s bead set into the fort and started making jewelry together, most of which would likely end up on Tenten.

She’d finished with their dinner dishes and was starting on the cooking ware when Neji came in and promptly spun her around to kiss her.

It was  _ embarrassing  _ how rapidly she melted against him, but she pushed it to the back of her mind in favor of running her fingers up the nape of his neck and then twining them into his hair. He shuddered a little, then started pressing her against the countertop, ready to lift her onto it.

_ I don’t think so, Mr. I-just-had-surgery. _

Tenten was a kunoichi of Konoha. She had trained endlessly in her youth to hone her instincts, to build her strength, to develop her skills. She could be a cold blooded killer if it meant protecting the Village that her family lived in. She could shrug off the past few years of non-active duty and take up her kunai again the second it was needed.

All of which to say, it was very easy for her to spin herself and her husband around, lift him onto the countertop, then force his legs apart and step between them in one easy movement.

Neji actually gasped, which made a spark curl down her spine and a wide smirk form on her lips. She leaned in to kiss him again but he pulled away, eyes wide and face flushing.

She tilted her head back to consider him, eyelids lowering until her look was nearly  _ disdainful _ . Neji ran his tongue over his bottom lip, his gaze fixed on her with fervency that bordered desperation.

Finally, she murmured, “All right-” and stepped away from him, back to the sink to keep watching dishes. 

She turned to appraise him a few bowls later, curious to see his flustered state. He was staring off into space, his fingers over his mouth as his face flushed bright red.

Tenten smirked. She wasn’t able to reduce him to this state very often, but when she did it was  _ deeply  _ satisfying.

Neji turned to glance at her and caught her gaze, which made his flush deepen, but said in an unsteady voice, “You shouldn’t lift heavy things while pregnant.”

“ _ Gah _ ,” Tenten muttered, and turned back to angrily wash the dishes.

**Author's Note:**

> i may explore this universe more in the future, because I really like it. We'll see!


End file.
